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Shadow of Self Daily

A daily conversation about how to live well today: relationships and family, work and money, health and sleep, habits, technology, emotions, change, creativity, community and meaning, in about ten minutes. Two hosts, one calm British and one curious American, trace where each idea comes from, ask who it serves and what shapes the way we live, and end with a few practical things to try. Every episode is researched, checked against its sources and honest about what is well supported and what is still debated.

Subscribe in any podcast app with the feed: https://www.mandarinshadow.app/podcast/self/feed.xml

Made with AI: the script is researched and written with AI tools and narrated with synthetic voices.

Latest episodes

  1. 2026-11-13 · 24 min

    The Ideas of Alfred Adler, Part 3 of 3: Community feeling and contribution

    You get home drained, scroll for a lift that never comes, and wonder what would make you feel you matter. In the final part of our series on Alfred Adler, we explore community feeling: the idea that worth and belonging come from contributing to others, why encouragement may beat praise, and what the evidence on giving really shows, with its limits.

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  2. 2026-11-12 · 25 min

    Waiting for a sign before a big decision?

    You're on the edge of a big choice, hoping a sign or your true self will tell you what to do. Today we look at Jean-Paul Sartre's claim that existence comes before essence: no ready-made nature settles it for you, and choosing, even by not choosing, shapes who you become. We explain the idea plainly, try a first small step, and look honestly at its critics.

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  3. 2026-11-11 · 21 min

    The Ideas of Alfred Adler, Part 2 of 3: The separation of tasks and the courage to be disliked

    You replay a tense conversation at 2am, wondering if you should have just said yes to keep someone happy. In part 2 of our series on Alfred Adler, we ask a simple question: whose task is this, really? We look at the idea of separating your choices from other people's reactions, where the phrases 'the separation of tasks' and 'the courage to be disliked' come from, why chasing approval can keep us stuck, and where the idea can go too far.

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  4. 2026-11-10 · 24 min

    Staying In Again? Why We Stopped Showing Up, and How to Start

    It's a free evening, there's a class, a club or a neighbour's gathering you could go to, and the sofa wins again. Weeks later you realise you barely know the people on your street. Today we ask whether community life really has faded, using Robert Putnam's famous image of bowling alone as a tool, look honestly at what the evidence does and doesn't show, and begin working out small, realistic ways to show up for something that actually meets.

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  5. 2026-11-09 · 15 min

    The Ideas of Alfred Adler, Part 1 of 3: Inferiority and striving

    You watch a colleague breeze through everything and feel small and stuck. In part 1 of our three-part series on Alfred Adler, we look at why feeling less-than may be a normal human starting point, how it can push us to grow, and when it hardens into an inferiority complex. We cover where the idea came from, how it changed, and how it connects to later psychology.

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  6. 2026-11-08 · 12 min

    Busy all day but got nothing done?

    You were busy from the moment you sat down, yet you leave work feeling you achieved nothing. We look at the idea of small wins, the progress principle, from a big diary study of people at work: what it found, what it can and cannot tell us, and a simple end-of-day habit to try this week.

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  7. 2026-11-07 · 15 min

    Want a new job but don't know who to ask?

    It's Sunday evening, you're scrolling job listings, sure you want something different but unsure what, or who you could even ask. Today we look at how people really find new work: the old idea that acquaintances, not close friends, open doors, what a huge experiment on a professional networking site found, why the evidence is mixed, and one small conversation you could try this week.

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  8. 2026-11-05 · 16 min

    Why does that harsh thought at 2am feel like the truth?

    You're lying awake and one cruel thought about yourself keeps looping, and it feels like plain fact. In this episode we look at how thoughts, feelings and actions feed each other, through the story of Aaron Beck, a psychoanalyst whose own studies surprised him and led to cognitive behavioural therapy. We trace where the idea came from, how it changed, and how it connects to the Stoics, to thinking traps and to acting before you feel ready. Then we take a hard look at what the evidence does and doesn't show, and end with small things to try this week.

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  9. 2026-11-04 · 14 min

    Rushing to fix it when someone's upset? What listening really involves

    Someone you care about is upset and you're already fixing or defending before they finish. We ask what active listening really involves, what a 2014 conversation experiment found, why John Gottman's team urged counsellors to drop it for couples in conflict, and how to use reflecting back as a calm-moment skill rather than a mid-fight script. The evidence is mixed, and we say so.

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  10. 2026-11-03 · 13 min

    Feeling flat by 3pm? Food and mood, what we know and what we don't

    That mid-afternoon slump after a rushed sandwich or a skipped lunch. Can what we eat really shift how we feel? We look at what a large pooled analysis of diet trials found, why the effect was small, what it says little about, and where the honest gaps in the evidence still are.

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  11. 2026-11-02 · 11 min

    Can't stop scrolling once a headline hooks you?

    You pick up your phone to check one thing and forty minutes vanish, pulled along by questions you just have to resolve. We explore what research says about curiosity, the itch of the information gap, and try a simple practice for pointing that itch somewhere you choose.

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  12. 2026-11-01 · 10 min

    When something you loved starts to feel like a chore

    You sit down to do something you once enjoyed, but now there's a deadline and a prize attached, and it feels like work. We look at what research says about doing things for their own sake versus for rewards, where the evidence is solid, where it's fought over, and what you can try this week.

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  13. 2026-10-31 · 12 min

    Epictetus and What Is Actually Up to You

    A profile of Epictetus, the once-enslaved Stoic teacher, through his idea that freedom lies in how we judge and choose rather than in what happens to us. We look at what he argued, the strongest objections, and what early, small studies of Stoic training do and do not show.

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  14. 2026-10-29 · 12 min

    Viktor Frankl and the Will to Meaning

    What Viktor Frankl meant by the will to meaning, how logotherapy tries to put it into practice, and what modern research on purpose in life does and does not show.

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